I have a new "word" in my language…DOHNAH…It's a word given to me by my nearly 18 month old son. While having a OCD moment he sputtered that word out and it stopped my OCD in its tracks. I took the moment to figure out what he was trying to say, what did DOHNAH mean exactly. And then I realized, it doesn't really matter what the heck it meant, because, my good lord, it stopped my OCD. So, it's my new word to stop the OCD in it's tracks.

I have been having a tough time with my OCD over the past couple weeks. We were on the road for 2.5 weeks to visit family and friends, travelled over 5000 miles, and I had limited access to the Tribe website. I also had tons of access to my brain, which I have to learned through time is not really a good thing for me. The more time I have to think, the more time my OCD gets to lash out at me. Endless hours and days on the road let my little OCD bully find the ability to break free from the cage I had built around it. Things that I had worked past came simmering to the top of my OCD anxiety pot. And the more I thought about things, the more I tried to analyze things, the more the anxiety mounted.

By the time I got to Michigan, after three days straight on the road, I had reached a level nearing suicidal. And Christmas was days away. I worked through it, knowing it was mostly because of the time on the road. However, getting back on the road after the New Year had arrived, proved to be my biggest test. I felt myself stumbling inside my own brain, I felt the OCD record hit a snag and continuously repeat thoughts, phrases, etc., I felt every sensation of my anxiety and every movement I made caused the anxiety to intensify. Upon arrival home in Washington, however, I had worked through it. The OCD mountain had stood before me, like a giant monster from the depths of hell, and I had battled through it, over it, and around it. The word DOHNAH stood out in my brain mainly because it brought something very important to my attention. The things I worry about and fear so intensely, are not actually happening. They are in my brain, solely in my brain, and occurring nowhere else. And another important thing, they NEVER WILL occur anywhere else!!!