So this is my first blog. I have been on here for more than a year but was to afraid to get online to this site. Think it was just an official reminder of my condition, but im getting way better! So i figured i should share some stuff with folks who have shared more than you'll ever know with me. My latest thoughts, our situation sucks lol! I mean as far as meeting a significant other. I meet some one new and we talk, we start to like each other and things may wanted to be taken further. They get to know much about me and i have to know much about them. Then it gets to that point where damn i have to tell them if i want it to go any farther. This can be such a process, i get nervous and frustrated because if i did not have hiv it would be no problem. Once you tell them its like you play every scenario in your head so you can be prepared for the worst. It's frustrating sometimes i dont even want to talk to guys do this whole process. The good thing is within a weeks worth of time and they no longer want to talk, thats just shows all they wanted was sex lol. So it weeds out the one night stands but what if i want a one night stand. Can it ever happen? If i get this person to love my personality and stick around for a while to get to know me to the point where they think they would want to be with me, then BAM i drop the bomb on them. What are they to think? Do they think i was leading them on, getting there feelings all involved to just tell them news that may be devastating for them. Its just frustrating! I guess all i can say is "what are your thoughts? does anyone feel me?"