Today i surfed and landed on this site. It has given me some kind of relief! I was diagnosed positive on 3rd Agust 2011. It is difficult to express in writting the shock i felt and iam still going through. Not that i had been so clean ( BTW iam straight) but i always used a condom. I went to Benjamin Franklin Hospital here in Berlin with some acute neck pain. I also had some temperature. The Drs ordered blood tests and they found some bacteria whose name i cant remember. They also suggested that i take an HIV test. At first i declined. One Dr took his time to explain to me that the kind of bacteria they had found only occurs in those with suppressed immunity. I accepted. It took three days ( i was hospitalised taking penicilin drips for the bacteria) before i was given the terrible news. My CD4 count wassaid to be 454 and the Viral load 133. I was told this was very good!!!!I believe i have not been properly handled since being given the news; one young Dr told me that i would immedeately start medication after one week, even the nurses who were adminstring the bacteria drip confirmed how i would have the HIV meds after a week. The week elapsed and there were no meds. Nobody told me what was happening! After 2 days i asked the nurses, they told me they were waiting for instructions fom the Drs. I gathered courage and asked one of the Drs, when she came in for a routine check. She told me they had decided that i first finish with the Bacteria drips before i start on hiv meds. I was discharged from the hospitaland given anappointment to see the hiv Dr on 22nd september. I did go for that appointment and there was nothing much apart from blood samples being taken and giving me another appointment for 5th October!! I have not been counseled by anybody leave alone a specialist. The internet has been my only fallback counselor.I have read a lot, but i remain scared, angry and disappointed with myself! Maybe iam only new to his thing but that is how matters are handled, i do not know. sorry for my diatribe.Iam just confused.
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My statement for court
chrissy_hiv, , HIV or Aids, Anger, Grief, Relationships, Weight Loss, 1
One year has passed since I found out I am positive, even now I can't get over the fact...
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Like Herding Cats Thrrough Snow
Loki, , HIV or Aids, Addiction, ADHD, Anger, Anxiety, OCD, Relationships, Weight Loss, 0
Well it has turned out to be the perfect day to write..It's cold and raining and I have no...
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Audition Day! how it went…
Loki, , HIV or Aids, Alzheimer's, Anxiety, Depression, Lesbian, Gay, LGBTQ, OCD, Personality Disorder, Sleep Disorders, 1
Well some friends have been asking how my audtiton went this past Sunday (April 5th)…to those of you who...
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Silence
SUS, , HIV or Aids, 0
Wake up look me in the eyes againI need to feel your hand upon my faceWords can relay niceThey...
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UAE Doctor Tahir Akhtar became an honorary member of the World League “Mind Free of Drugs
AliiaM, , HIV or Aids, Addiction, Religion, 0
Jenishbek Nazaraliev, a famous doctor, president of the World League "Mind Free of Drugs" met with the chairman and...
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The Love That Can Never Be
kirkie8, , HIV or Aids, Child, Lesbian, Gay, LGBTQ, Questions, Sleep Disorders, 1
My Dear Special Guy, There is no poem or song or letter that could fully describe our special time...
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The hate just keeps on comeing
flcwboi, , HIV or Aids, Child, Lesbian, Gay, LGBTQ, Relationships, Sex Therapy, 0
This was sent to me from another news junkie. I swear people are so freakin\' ignorant! Call on...
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T4T
jody417, , HIV or Aids, 0
Online Community Free Ecourse Interact With Neale Audio Downloads Click Here Neale\'s Schedule Retreats, Lectures, Workshops, Book Signings...
Thank u someone. As i said, i may only be anxious coz of my ignorance.
Thank u MJ
Welcome to Tribe! Blogging is such a great way to express and let out any and all feelings you may have. Never hesitate to express yourself here. You're among good people…I should know, people here have helped me a great deal.
Hang in there and take good care.