Hey folks, I have to admit being in a strange mood this morning. I\’m happy but I do have mixed feelings…About 3 weeks ago I found a Video tape that my mother had sent me 13 years ago. She had it made about a year after my Dad died. She had taken all of our old 8mm home movies to a photolab and had them all put on one enormous video in torder to preserve them.( By the way kiddies, a mere 13 years ago video was still the best and most affordable way to store movies but of course, no longer)

Mom had copies made for all 3 children and my Aunt. Connie. Well I had misplaced that tape when Adam and I moved into our house 31/2 years ago…..and just found it last week. Luckily , it was still in good condition but not wanting to risk losing it, I took it to a friends house who has the software to covert it to digital. Less that a week later, I had a master copy of the video on DVD plus the digital version on my portable HD. nice huh?

Okey, here\’s the weird part for me…

Although I\’m pretty sure I have watched all of those old 8mm movies and the video that mom made from them, there is a LOT on there I don\’t remember seeing before….some of it is pretty disturbing to me.

in \’96 the nightclub that I had worked for for so long closed it\’s doors and the subsequent stress threw me into a health and financial crisis. Maybe that\’s why I don\’t remember everything on the video.  There is not to be ignored the very good possibility of good old fashoned denial, something that I learned form dear old mom.

Watching these people on the video, I am trying to absorb the fact that these are MY people….most of them blood relations…..but seeing them cavort for the camera or just be filmed doing whatever people DID back then is like watching a National Geographic Special. A anthropology study of natives from another galaxy …in their natural habitat even.

Thre is my dad who was 52 years old when I was born….my grandmother who was born in the 1800s and who died when I was between 8 and 10 years old. Oh my god, I had nearly fogotten how much I loved her ! There is my mother, all young and fresh, dresssed in 50\’s and 60s clothes  looking like something between June Cleaver and a Gary Larson character in her cats-eye glasses!……

…..and who is that weird little monkey with the BIG head and pot belly….yeah, the one with no front teeth because he bustd them out at age 2 on the piano bench?……OMG…..that would be me…

But the Best is yet to come….a lot further into the tape….there I almost 6 years old…..and my big sister has dressed me up in….DRAG!  Yep…that\’s me is big sisters old little girl clothes….The vary same sister who outed me to my family as gay when I was still a teenager…..Thanks for that Sis….but I forgive you……Oh and by the way, One of your sons is a CROSS DRESSER….No, no Sis, that\’s for you to figure out.  (sweet smile, blink, blink)

Alrighty! I feel SO much better now….I think I will go watch more of these wacky natives.

Later, Loki  🙂


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