Yes, i know…another holiday down and it’s still the beginning of the ‘season’….  *sigh 

A dear friend and his parents invited me for Thanksgiving dinner, and it was nice to socialize some.  It just felt like whenever i sat still, i was seconds away from falling asleep.  i know they’d understand and probably overlook it–at least briefly, anyway–but it still bothers me that i’m THIS exhausted.  i know i still have quite a few things to take care of, as well as trying to contact my son and my grandson.  i did actually try to call my grandson’s father, yesterday, but didn’t get any answer.  (Nothing new.)  Oh well…i don’t care what it takes, at this point:  i’m fed up with idiots trying to think they can control me or something of that nature.  Sometimes, certain people need a wake-up call.  Guess we’ll have to see…. 

On the bright side, i suppose, since i’ve been constantly going, lately, i’ve not had a lot of time for reflection.  Sure, my thoughts can be my worst enemy–i am not in denial about that one.  i know i have things i need to do and i need to try and keep me as together as i can…..not for my sake.   Also, there have been several developments in my life, as of the past several months….some of which i have not shared here.  Obviously, some days are much harder than others.  And, certain subjects or thoughts, etc. tend to make the heartache and pain a bit worse.  Ehhh…par for the course?  Guess we’ll see…   i soooooooooooo hope i’ll be able to get to see them and visit a bit, soon.  i’ve missed my dear son so deeply, these past 6+ years and have longed to meet and visit with my grandson since i knew he was born.  Of course, there are others i would love to visit with and spend some time hangin out, but for now, those two have to be my priority.  So much has been piled on my shoulders in these past few months, and i’ve got to try and stay fairly focused and not lose hope.  Stuff happens.  i get it.  But, if i don’t know about it, how can i help?  How can i be a part of the solution? 

Oh well….i really hope i can get some more cleaning done tonight and get it outta the way for a lil bit.  Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day, mentally. 

Please, take care of yourselves and remember:  you really DO matter!!!