I’m scared to write this because I’m new but I’m trying because I’ve been hospitalized several times before and every time the system really failed me, to the point where I had actual mental health associates in the hospital tell me how truly the doctors don’t really care and everyone’s just there to do a job. It’s all protocol. That’s it. I can’t reach out to suicide hotlines for the same reason because they just send you to the hospital. I was sent to an involuntary unit because I refused to take medication that made me sick. I was told by a doctor that I wasn’t complying with treatment because I expressed I’m against taking meds as it doesn’t work for me. So they send me to involuntary 3 hours away from my family when I begged them not to where they forced me to take meds. I feel like I can’t trust mental health professionals because they’re apart of a system that doesn’t truly want to listen but just wants to follow out dated teachings on how to handle people who are struggling. I have bpd and it’s a struggle I wouldn’t wish in anyone. I’m reading a lot and I hope everyone can stay safe and get better because I’m losing hope for myself too.