I dont know what to do anymore. im so busy tyring to keep everyone happy trying to please everyone. im tired, im stressed, im scared. i feel like im falling. i feel like im everyones problem.  I gotta live up to sumthing i dont wanna be.  im so stressed out to the point where im throwing up, i cant sleep, and im resless. i want to go back to the drugs, drinking, smoking shit and not giving a fuck.  i feel trapped. cutting doesnt even work anymore i cant feel it. i cant cry. im constantly on edge. ive gone manic almost everyday. even with my best friends i still think about suicide. the voices, the hallucinations, the episodes. its all too much its getting to the point where i cant control it and i cant hide it.  im to the point where i cant bounce back from anymore. im killing me slowly and painfully.