finally, after i was introuble with school authorities and possibly had scarred my new dorm roommates for life. i feel bad only that they had to be a part of it. we don't talk anymore, but i wish i could tell them how thankful i am for everything that happened, because i wouldn't have quit without them reacting the way they did. i've been sober for about 2.5 years, and i don't need aa or anything. i just quit. i do harbor a deep hate for the alcohol and advertising industry. i think it's really important to keep in mind that any activity can be addictive, but some are healthier than others. a big part of aa (in my experience) is finding a healthy substitute and realizing your lack of ability to be satisfied. how you cure that, i don't know. i really don't know how i don't drink anymore, i think it's because i always hated alcohol in the first place…writing is a good helper for me. i had to get over not wanting to deal with my problems, let alone recognize them. i think just dealing with little bits at a time makes it easier. one good thing i got out of my brief experience with aa is the “one day at a time” thing. it helps to have someone sympathetic to talk to, but your addictions really are your own and know will ever know or relate to exactly how you feel, especially because you probably don't even know how you feel. it's important to not let others influence you…think for yourself how drinking makes you feel and what you are using it for. if you can, just say fuck it and quit. i wish the things that happened to me didn't sometimes, but if they didn't, i would be different and i don't know if i want to be different. i finally like who i am and i like to share myself and my ideas with others.