Was reading a book about the opiate addiction epidemic in America this morning and it mentioned that accidental opiate-related deaths surpassed auto accidents – and that was in 2007 I believe?! Of the ten years of my horrific addiction I\’m amazed, grateful, and so happy I made it out alive. There were many times I did not think I would. Yet somehow I did. For the thousands and thousands of people who die everyday from opiate addiction, they were not so lucky. It saddens my heart to think of their poor families, children left behind, life totally wasted. Addiction is a beast. A beast we must battle day in and day out. One I battle every minute of every day. I do not think I have \”won\” yet. I have been clean for some time now, but I know that ugly beast is doing jumping jacks lurking in the darkest corners of my mind, waiting to pounce. Waiting to take my life. I endured for ten years much self-suffer…the heartache, chaos, lonely nights spent isolated from the world, and depression that all accompany addiction. I will give no more of my youth, my precious time on this earth, my happiness, my health, wealth, sanity to this drug. Because everyday I wake up clean is a day I should live to the fullest. It\’s honestly a godsend. For this, I’m so grateful.
Today I have a beautiful little boy, an amazing husband and a place to live. Life is not by any means perfect, but it is good enough for me. I will continue to stay clean because losing these things would kill me. I have gained too much to give it all up now. I have fought hard for my life, and it is a life that is worth fighting for.