I had been up awhile and was crashing. I was ready to crash too. But eight hours of sleep is not enough to recover that loss. I was going to need it to get up the next day. I had given up trying to find any & was going to bed. When I got a phone call, But not the from the usual person. Every fiber of my being said “DO NOT go. Go to bed.” In addition to that it was 3am. I had a new car that had paper plates that were from out of state. I was fully aware that in the neighbor I was going they would stop me just because of the hour. As a matter of fact my boyfriend had been arrested in the EXACT same place 10yrs. Earlier. They say that God throws stones at us long before he throws the boulder. Fully aware that my boulder was not far away from hitting me. I chose to go anyway. I believe that it was Devine intervention that night. I was really being tired of living this & knew it needed to stop. I also knew that wasn’t gonna do it by myself. Nor would I ask for help. Did I want to go to jail? No. I try to be to be as smart as one can be when going on a run. Like having it on my person, follow all traffic laws, drivers license & insurance. The obvious. My horrible feeling never left & I kept telling myself just to go home. The addict did not listen. When I arrived, she met me at the car & said she put it in the console. I went in to use the potty. After I returned to my car to leave, I could see headlights coming up the road. I had been taking off my coat & decided that if I took the time to find what was in the car and it was the law they would stop because of the time I was taking. I pulled away from the curb & in a flash he was on my ass. Then the lights came on. And I KNEW in that second I was done. He went back to his car while I was looking for my license & insurance. Which I also tried to find the dope in the console. I could not find anything. So of course now there is two. They pull me out of the car interrogating me. I granted them permission to search the car. Thinking to myself, “well if I can’t find it, maybe they won’t be either.” It was in the cup holder. From the time I pulled away from the curb until I arrived downtown was only 25 minutes. There are so many “if-had-only.” I was normally diligent about the things. I knew at that moment, although it did not feel like it, was a blessing.
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