So , this will probably be all over the place  due to my bi-polar mind, so try to bear with me and follow along if you can !  I am Jessica , I am a mother of 4 boys , yes you read that right 4 BOYS ages 12, 7 , 6 , and 5 months old , also I am a recovering opiate  addict. My clean date is April 12th 2017! I have a mom , dad , and two brothers that I talk to  ,and some other family , I also have a husband Donnie, we have been together for 10 yrs ! So growing up I always felt older then I was , like I wasn’t allowed to play , or use my imagination like other kids . I just remember it feeling wrong like I wasn’t allowed to , I also do not remember anytime in my life EVER that I was not stressed or had super bad anxiety . I don’t sleep and never could . I am diagnosed bi-polar , I have an anxiety disorder , PTSD , depression , and sociopath (which I don’t agree with but I can see why , im not a crazy mean killer or anything I am actually kinda nice ) . I have endured sexual and mental abused , and raped by multiple people growing up  and different times in my life. I use to think because it happened so many times by different people (some i was suppose to trust others i should have known I couldn’t ) but i now know it wasn’t my fault . I got pregnant at 15 by my first love , he left me when I was 6 months pregnant but he still picks his son up every weekend and is a good dad . I get only a few hours of sleep a night , I have tried so many medicines but they don’t work and have bad side effects so I don’t take any medication right now . I really don’t know what else to say right this second so I ll end it here I guess , Thank you so much for taken the time to read this and have a good day , Stay safe !