I promise you what I am about to write really happened. It is the full truth.
When I became sober my girlfriend picked up where I left off. She continued with her own bizarre and intoxicated episodes of embarrassment stupidity and unreliability. This has been going on for nearly 8 months. I told her the next time she does this I am leaving. I explained to her it’s unfair. She responded, “How does it feel”. She wasn't thinking that she was on the other end once so she should know what I am going through.
Last Saturday she went to a graduation party about 40 miles out. I knew this was a bad idea because she was with a friend who drinks a lot too. I hadn't talked to her since 2 pm. Around 6 pm I called to see when she would be leaving (She claimed she didn't want to really drink and she had things to do back home) I called a few more times and text her. She finally called around midnight. She was absolutely shit faced. She tried to convince me she wasn't drunk. I asked her what took so long to call back. She said I only called her once. I let her know I called like 5 times and text her like 3. She gave me the answer why: “I was partying” then she went on a rant about how this one sucks and that ones a piece of shit she started with me and I told her “that’s it, I'm done!” She told me to go fuck myself and hung up.
I was so pissed I was going to go to her house and grab all my stuff I had there. I drove there but didn't grab anything. I was scared if she came home and saw my stuff gone she would freak. I swore to myself this was it, as I said so many other times and never did. I woke up in the middle of the night telling myself lets try one more time to make it work.
The night before I was downloading songs about drugs and alcohol. I did this to remind me of what I did before. I can relate so much with music. I was analyzing lyrics to see the artist experience toward drugs. They were good and bad ones. Anyways I prayed for us, grabbed my ipod and put on the music as I fall asleep. Here’s were the spiritual experience happened. As I dream this feeling in my body took over. Nothing weird or out of this world. Just a wonderful beautiful feeling, a perfect euphoria. I was warm in my dream and all I saw was yellow as the song drugs or Jesus by Tim McGraw played. I woke up with ease and a smile so calm as the sun shined in my eyes on a warm spring morning. The song kept playing as I lay there so calm and comfortable. A thought came into my mind since this is my first Sunday off in months: why not go to church. I set my alarm clock I hit replay on the ipod and fell back asleep. I slept pass the alarm and woke up late I rushed to get ready but I had no clean clothes. I had to do the super ghetto technique. I sifted through the laundry found a pair of jeans and a shirt, through it in the dryer with a air freshener, got dressed and headed out at 11 am for an 11am mass. I made it to the church only to find out that the churches “summer” hours are in effect and mass was at 10 am instead. As I read a sign along comes a lady who made the same mistake as I did. We were the only two standing in front of church as everyone else filed out. I explained to her why mass so early. She told me she just moved here and didn’t know. We chatted for a while and she told me everyone in Cambridge is rude and mean. How they slashed her tires and how the traffic dept. gave her a hard time about being a new resident. She told me there was a 12 o’clock mass she went to a few time. She asked me if I wanted to go. At first I was hesitant then I said sure why not. I felt happy and warm again like I did when I was dreaming. We drove to the church stayed in the parking lot for 20 minutes before mass started. She got an awful phone call that a patient of hers for four years had died. She was very close with the family. We talked about it for a while then went into church. After mass she asked me how did I feel coming out and if I was glad I went. I told her thank you because I really needed to go and probally wouldn’t have if I didn’t see her. I explained to her I was going through tough times. She asked what they were and I told her I was going through problems with my girlfriend and her drinking. I also told her I had stopped and briefly explained to her why I stopped. She was very happy. She consoled me. She told me to stick with my thought about leaving her. How to let her have her time and maybe she would think. In the meantime I can continie to worry about my self and not her. She told me to be strong. I listed to every word she spoke. She spoke like she knew me forever. I absorbed everything she said. Again these feeling of warm and calmness came back. My eyes watered and she told me everything would be alright if I listened to myself and followed my words. She let me know if it wans’t meant to be then I would know. As she was driving me home she told me she needed to pick up her TV at Best Buy and If I knew where she could rent a van to pick it up. I told her I would help her , She asked how much I told her not to worry. I gave her my number and told her to call me and we would pick it up. Sghe dropped me off told me she was going to see the family of the lady who died and told me again to be strong. I walked away with a smile on my face so confident and ready to follow my word. I truly believe I bumped into her for a reason. It was a sign. The way things happened Sunday just seems out of the ordinary. I believe for this to be my spiritual experience. I have stood strong since that day. She did call back to let me know she had found someone else that would do it. Thanked me. I think some one told her to becareful. Which is fine. Who picks up a stranger goes to church then gets offered a favor? I haven’t heard from her since but her words carry on
PS these are the lyrics to that song I dreamed with.
AS I am dreaming
Drugs Or Jesus Lyrics
by Tim McGraw

In my home town
For anyone who sticks around
You're either lost or you're found
There's not much in between
In my home town
Everything's still black and white
It's a long, long way from wrong to right
From Sunday morning to Saturday night

Everybody just wants to get high
Sit and watch a perfect world go by
We're all looking for love and meaning in our lives
We follow the roads that lead us
To drugs or Jesus

My whole life
I've tried to run, I've tried to hide
From the stained glass windows in my mind
Refusing to let God's light shine
Down on me
Down on me

Everybody just wants to get high
Sit and watch a perfect world go by
We're all looking for love and meaning in our lives
There's not much space between us
Drugs or Jesus

Everybody wants acceptance
We all just want some proof
Everyone's just looking for the truth

Everybody just wants to get high
Sit and watch a perfect world go by
We're all looking for love and meaning in our lives
We follow the roads that lead us
To drugs or Jesus
To drugs or Jesus
Oh I need you Jesus
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah,
Hallelujah