How Sneaky…I didnt think you were there…I should have known you would be waiting….Ahh yes I remember you….I saw your beautiful glowing  aura, I love that about you, how complete I can be as I hold you.  Oh so warm I feel as you make your way through me, from top to bottom…Shhhhh…I got you, you are safe with me.  I wont let you be alone…I dont want to be alone either…and I wont be…You dont need your friends here with you, you said you didnt have any…I can make you complete…I can fix you…I can make it all better…dont you remember…we have been here before…why so quiet now? DOnt you have anything so say…you promised…you said it would be ok…you wouldnt leave…where ARE YOU….WHY ARE YOU SO EMPTY and HOLLOW…I can see through you now…Clear through to the other side…you are so cold…All I did was love you…Ha I can just buy another…she will treat me better than you did…Dont forget that…I chose to PICK YOU UP….To Drink in your beauty..Skin deep my ass, you tried to take my Soul…Fuck you….

 

I know what I am…what I still have inside of me.  More so WHAT I AM capeable of.  That scares me at times, sane moments that I realize My world is not upside down….I WAS…I rant on here like a lunatic at times…manic whatever…I get it out.. I am safe here…At any point I am doing one of two things…Heading towards or Heading Away from a DRINK….Its all about the balance and where we go from here…Challeneges, Opportunities, Hope and Dreams…Love and Loss…Sadness and Joy, LIVING FUCKING LIFE.

Lifes terms, what is that? Life on lifes terms…lifes terms blow at times…If you didnt notice I will let you in on that one…but only to the EXTENT THAT I LET IT FUCK WITH MY SOBRIETY…I look to all that is out there for US all the resources at our disposal..and I will do whatever it takes.  WHAT EVER IT TAKES TO NOT PICK UP….SOmetime when you have a chance..if you want wander over to this site..www.womenforsobriety.org/ it might pleasantly surprise you…I know I can use all the help I can get…(dont let the name fool ya either..lol) 

 

I have much good going on in life right now…I am blessed in more ways that I imagined possible…that and the fact that this ADDICT/ALCOHOLIC didnt Use today is  miracle….Dont forget where you are…YOU ARE RIGHT WHERE YOU SHOULD BE NOW….Honest…I love you all….Mike

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