I put a letter in on Friday to my boss to change my duties and to assign me in a different position with less stress. This position would cut my pay in half. I am soooooo scared if I stay where I am I will end up in a hospital. I can not take the stress anymore and I need an out. Of course he tried to talk me out of it and asked me to pray about it and wait until Monday, which I told him I would do. I am working under someone, (not who I turned my letter into) who screams, curses and is so rude. He is only part of the problem he has made me doubt the whole profession I have been in for over fourteen years. Being in law enforcement I see so much ugly and I am tired. I want the nice stuff. I am scared if I stay, I am scared if I go. I feel trapped. I like working with people. I need to take a break. If I tell anyone in my town, like my own psychiatrist how desparate I feel I am afraid that she will have them take my badge and gun from me. I wear a gun belt everday. The stress has effected ever part of me. I have a pinched nerve in my back, migraines, and an ulcer and high blood presser which just started this year. I want to be happy again but I am afraid of all the time I put in towards a retirement. I am sorry this is another rant. I needed to write this. Monday is going to be another rough day so you will probably see me on here again. Thank you my OCD friends.
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hi blues baby
im so glad to write your feeling , its seem so Logical, but i think you Dramatize situation , where you find your rest and comfortable you must ask it . your boss make that hard thats disgusting ,,but dont afraid for talkink to your
psychiatrist i think he will help you because the psychiatrist have Principles the first is: keep secret of his Patients and he will not take yours badge ….i think …..
\..I am ‘not saying anything here you yourself have not pondered countless numbers of times in your own mind..however "why" did you go into "law enforcement" in the first place?? if it was to help people as born2luv has suggested then I’m sure you went in with all the best of intentions..however the profession generally has other ideas *power-trips..subjective intrepretation of the law & who it applies to..etc*..remember there are innumerable ways to help & better people’s lives..I don’t know the specifics of your city government where you are & I don’t intend to sound presumptuous however I would think your pension & retirement would easily roll-over to another city position should you decide to pursue alternate paths in ur career..a few ideas would be firefighting *no stress of course ha jk*..city social programs..etc..I understand the "rush" that comes from a "hazardous duty" job as I’ve been there myself *flight-test engineering*..however you have to weigh the pros & cons & see which way the balance tilts..consider this tonite & all of tomorrow & see where your heart leads you..best of luck in your decision & be strong..\
To all my friends, today went so much better, I got put in a position where I maintain my status of pay but I am in a different position temprorarily while I lick my wounds so to speak. I feel so relieved. I am of course worried about what my supervisors think of me but I have to stop caring what others think of me and look out for me. I feel better because I feel that this is what I needed. I won’t have to work late for at least two months, so I can make at least my doctors appointments for awhile and I can just try to get back on track.