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Things I can’t say in front of people that aren’t depressed:

I hate that its sunny outside sometimes
I rather it be a rainy day because I can relate more to rain. Why is she or he so happy when I’m not. Why do people expect me to say that I’m doing great..when that will never be…Why do people expect me to have an optimistic attitude when most of my life I have dealt with disappointments..

I don’t know how many times I rather stay in bed than face a bunch of happy go lucky people that are ready for the world each day. Atleast I can be around the one person I don’t have to impress, me.

I hate when people say “whats new”..There is nothing new going on…and then they want to put me down because my life is boring them.

People always tell me to smile..but I rather not smile so that people could either think I’m mean or serious and not want to walk all over me.

I love the color black..I’m not goth..or emo or whatever they call it…though I do admire that trend..but I’m not into it..I admire anyone that dares to be different..

I love sarcasm..I rather talk to a sarcastic person..than a person that is pretending that life is perfect when it really isn’t…

Btw..my favorite comedians are Adam Sandler..Bernie Mac..Bill Cosby.Steve Harvey..Ellen..Monique(from the Parkers) and George Lopez..I do love to laugh…though I have depression..I have my moments…

I sometimes wish I could scream out loud..because I think that I hold too much in..and what I hold in breaks me down..I am passive aggressive..and I am so worried about hurting someone’s feelings that I end up letting someone hurt mine…

I am tired of being afraid of social situations..I have a very big opinion on life and current events..I can give my opinion online and with family..but meeting new people is scary for me..

I wish that people wouldn’t see Depression as laziness..it is very serious to deal with..Family members don’t try to empathize when they should..

:dizzy:

1 Comment
  1. sorrowfulpoet 15 years ago

    Laughing is never a bad thing, its good you love it.

    I so understand the social pain–I’m that way and I can’t stand it, I used to be very social, until things went bad for me, and now its painful to be around people.

    Keep fighting, I know its tough, I do understand. I especially want to tell people “Night is cool, and rain is great!” sometimes sunny and bright is not good for my mood at all!

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