___

One night on a day I don’t remember, I woke up hearing a loud noise from another room. My little sister was still sleeping soundly. For some reason, I decided to peek out of my bedroom and see what the noise was. 

At this time, my mother was in the hospital because of a health problem. My little brother was not home, I don’t remember why. The only people in the house were my father, two elder brothers, little sister, and myself. 

When the noises continued, I walked out of my bedroom and headed towards the elder brothers’ room, where the noises were coming from. I peeked through the door and saw the younger one coming towards the door. I ran and hid under my mother’s desk, but he saw me. 

“Come out. Now.” When I did not answer or move, he pulled me by the hair out from under the desk. He punched me in the face, knocking out my front teeth. I started crying. He walked into the bathroom and shut the door. I went into mother and father’s room and I laid in the bed, with no one in it.

___

Recently, for the past three weeks or so, I’ve been waking up from this dream which is from my past. I wake up and feel regret. Regret for being too young to do anything, too young to understand what was going on.

I had caught my father in the act of raping my two elder brothers. But I didn’t know what was going on. I didn’t know, and therefore didn’t tell. It makes me feel that my family was torn apart at this moment. My brothers told lies to mother about why I lost my teeth, no one was being truthful.

After this incident, my father found out what had actually happened. That I had peeked in the room, though I don’t remember what I saw. Afterwards, he began sexually abusing me, and making my little sister and I masturbate for him when mother was not home.

If only I had know that the noises I heard were shouts and cries, what an erection was and that my brother had one when he punched me. If only I had realized that it’s a bad sign my father was not in his room after this incident.

If only I had the ability to save my family.

3 Comments
  1. delane 3 years ago

    ***HUGS***
    My heart truly goes out to you, HataMig!!
    No child should ever have to endure such ugliness!! i’m so sorry you’re still being forced to deal with the pain and anguish that were caused by someone who was supposed to be your guardian and protector. I can feel your pain through your words. Please, feel free to be yourself here, and reach out whenever you want/need to!

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    • Author
      hatamig 3 years ago

      Thank you, you are very kind. I truly wish I could go back and change the past since I now have an understanding of the events that took place . . . I may be able to fix everything, but then I would not be who I am today. Therefore, I would not do it.
      I sincerely appreciate your response, your words mean a lot to me. Thank you so much, Delane.

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  2. ucfdarkknight 3 years ago

    I agree

    no one…especially a child…should ever have to go through that.

    I’m so sorry. i wish I could say something better or more meaningful. Unfortunately there’s really no words for something like this

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