I have a problem with some people's screen names; if they're unusual, but pronounceable (sp.?), sometimes I will start saying them over and over and over in my head. It drives me crazy! Sometimes they'll just pop up in my head in the middle of the day. I really don't know why.

Anyway, on a different note…. Had a pretty good and productive day. I am proud of myself. I made myself just go take a shower instead of making up excuses not to 'til my sisters got home and we had to do other things….

Took only 17 minutes–though I washed my hair twice (with 2-in-1 shampoo & conditioner–2 different kinds!). Made myself keep going through the not-as-hot-as-I-wanted water (new water heater; haven't figured out the best ways to adjust it yet), despite wanting to cry because of it (sad, I know). Not having it hot made me want to scrub all the more…. Scrubbed asquickly as possible and got out.

Then I washed some clothes–yay, me! Because ofplumbing problems we haven't beenable to fix, we can't usethe washer (which doesn'twork anyway…), so we have to wash clothes by hand. I'm proud of myself; I washed my favorite lap blanket (which I've hadfor nearly a year, but had never washed before, despite using it almost every day). I'velamented overhow I needed to wash it, butI could never make myself do it because the stress of even thinking about washing it was too much forme dueto my compulsion for excessive washing. Not everything has to be clean, just whenI clean it, I have to do it "right."

Anyway, I feel more like myself again than I have in a long time–singing at the top of my lungs while I wash clothes, having no trouble thinking of songs to sing…. It felt good. Hope everyone else has had a good day, too. 🙂

  1. unsure 11 years ago

    Without 'good days,' I'm not sure I'd still be here. Aghh, I'm sorry for the negative tone. When it's not bothering you as much, do you ever feel like your unlocking your old self/hidden personality?

    And, just for curiosities' sake, in an earlier blog you said something about walking in the moonlight. Are you far enough north in Alaska that it's dark 24/7 right now? I bitch about the lack of enough daylight in the winter in Michigan, but that's nothing compared to what Alaskans have to deal with. Anyway, hope the good days continue!

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  2. bluerosie 11 years ago

    Naw, it's never dark 24/7 here.  It was just at night when I went for the walk–well, probably more evening, around 6 or 7 or so.  On our shortest day here in Fairbanks, I think we get around 4 hours or a little less of daylight.


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