Hello! This is my very first day on this website. I really hope that I can find support to help me find inner peace and help me get through this crazy time in my life.
I will start out with a little introduction about myself and what I am going through. My name is Hannah. I live in the US and have a Shuh Tzu puppy named Winston who I love with all my heart. I am 22 years old. I have been depressed for a long time. I have been on depression medication since my freshman year in high school. One year ago I moved in with my boyfriend. Just this weekend we broke up and now I am back home with my parents (been here for almost 2 days now!). My ultimate goals are to get back on my feet financially, start working on myself and my depression, and to move out into my own living situation and stand on my own two feet.
Luckily, I am not in much debt and will be all caught up with my bills within a month or so. I really want to find what makes ME happy and get out of this depression that I feel like I have been dealing with forever.
What is difficult right now is going through my break up with my boyfriend. We both still very much love each other but are both in different places of our life. Getting into my new routine and not being able to see his face or hear his voice everyday has already proven to be a huge challenge. I miss him so much already. The break up really is what is going to be the best thing for me. I am just worried that by the time I am ready to be in a relationship, I will have lost him completely and will never be able to give our relationship another chance. In a way I feel like the breakup is completely my fault and that I have single handedly lost the best, most wonderful person that I have ever met. That's what is really killing me at the moment.
But I cant lose focus on what I need to do. The very very first thing is to unpack all my stuff. I have finally gotten everything out of my car and have done some organizing. I cant wait until all my stuff is out of boxes and bags and when I get use to my new life/schedule at home again.
What I want to have this blog be used for is more of a journal and anyone who wants to comment is more than welcome. I hope that I have explained my situation okay. I feel like there is so much going on right now its hard to mentally process everything which makes writing about it super difficult as well. If anyone has some advise, kind words or who is going through something similar, let me know and hopefully we can learn a thing or two from each other and maybe start a friendship.
Here goes nothing!