so this weekend I achieved something but then something happened and made me doubt everything. Friday afternoon I traveled up to spend the weekend with my boyfriend we have been together 5 months now so I still have people in his life to meet so all week I prepared myself mentally for meeting his friend and his friends partner it was arranged that we go out for a meal and drinks Saturday night and I dread meeting new people and get very anxious and ocd loves me getting this way and fills myhead with contamination fears and I am also a shy person but I was prepared for it but what I wasn't prepared for was on the way up on the train my boyfriend phones me to say we are meeting that night and they are staying over I said ok that's good but really thinking omg I am not going to cope so anyway later that night we met and they were nice and I tried really hard to keep up conversation and notbe to quiet and shy so that was my achieventbut that night back home in bed my anxiety was really high and I begged ocd to make me feel better I would make a deal if you left me and let the anxiety go then you can do something humiliating to me tomorrow so then it happen Saturday night out again with my boyfriends friends meal and drinks and I fall down on the ground totally humiliatinga Saturday night in the middle of town. Ok so logically I know it's not possible that ocd can do that and it just a coincidence but there's the doubt set in I made a deal make me feel better and you can humiliate me tomorrow and that's exactly what happened.

1 Comment
  1. telknit23 8 years ago

    Oh, that's unfortunate that it happened in such a way as to reinforce the OCD deal-making.  But it's either just coincidence or, more likely, anxiety making you less graceful than usual.  When my mind is whirling with obsessive anxiety, I tend to trip, drop things, etc.  Once I even shut my finger in the car door because I was busy worrying  instead of watching what I was doing.[br][br]Aside from the embarassment of falling like that, did the rest of the evening go well?

    0 kudos

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