For a while now i have been struggling with the ocd i seem to get better for a while then crash im back down but this time has been the worst im hardly going out and if i do my mum needs to be with me (i know pathetic) so obviously ive been signed off work for the past 2 months, i started self harm around the same time i got signed off work due to somethings that has came up in therapy something i have just kept to the back of my mind and not wanted to deal with and i thought nothing else could get worse for me then it did.

My brother and his partner of 5 month decided to get married they have set the date for August next year and his partner asked me to be her maid of honour something i should have been so happy about and excited but instead i was filled with terror.

She said she wanted me to be maid of honour as she knows i won't let her down but she doesn't know me well they have only been together 5 months and it's just the last couple of months the family have been getting to know her and with the ocd how can i support her and be there for her on her big day i can barely support myself and how can i wear a dress with the scar's on my arm from the self harming ive not yet got that under control, how can i go dress shopping with her i can barely get out myself, what about the hen night what am i going to do about that i will have to organise that and be there and i don't see how i can she has i think 3 or 4 sister's and quite a few friends she could have asked to be maid of honour WHY ME i know i will let her down i feel i can't cope with this not on top of everything else i feel terrible for feeling like this she seems a really nice person.

1 Comment
  1. Piggy 10 years ago

    That is a lot on your plate to deal with.  First, does your therapist know you are harming yourself?  That is the very first thing that needs to be addressed.  I know it is hard to deal with your symptoms, but you have to get that under control.   Does the bride know of your condition?  If she doesn't then she might not even understand until you explain it to her.  Sit down and talk to her.  You seriously don't need this much stress.  Plus, it is kind of weird to ask you to be her maid of honor when she doesn't really know you that well.  If the wedding isn't until August of next year you never know what will happen before then.  I wish you the best of luck.

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