Hi. Been MIA since i left for Vegas on Thursaday. Thank you to all who left comments on my page while i was gone. It feel great to be thought of and wished a nice day. And Leper and her beautiful pics!I am happy to report i lost almost ALL my money yet don't regret it at all! I love slot machines and playing poker so this was a once in a life time opportunity vacation.
An interesting note: I left FL to go to the flippin desert of Vegas and 99F heat! WTH? I'll take the humidy of FL anyday as I was getting nose bleeds from the dry heat. TMI i know. sorry lol.
Anxiety and other disorders didnt rear their ugly heads too much. Except when i got into sleep deprivation tha last day we were coming home. Standard proceedure is we ask at the flight deskto arrangea window seat for me and my partner to sit next to me due to my anxiety disorder, Its the only way I dont get claustrophobic. Well, part way thru the first flight to Atlanta; the wife took issue with me always getting the window seat. She was resentful. We had a "tiff" and i agreed to try trading the window seat off and on the next time we go away. Her job is very demanding and she needs to nap on the plane and being able to lean against the window with her pillow would be ideal. I was so sleep deprived (which I dont regret- it was Vegas after all) I started crying as she also said I was being "high maintainance". She tries like hell, and is generally VERY patient and supportive. The comment just totally rubbed me the wrong way. She listened to me cry and then went silent. Then I relaized; life cant revolve around me and my disorders or mental illnesses. This woman has takenj very good care of me and been understanding for 8 years.I need to take other peoples needs into consideration and stretch my comfort zone just a bit if I can. May be even more. I have grown sooo much in the past 23 (has it been that long?) years since i was diagnosed and recieving treatment…..why stop getting better now?
And it does get better. I promise you that. Sh*t i can almost pass for normal in many situations! I FEEL BETTER. I am healthier.
My sleep problems wont improve in the near future tho. The new med i got from my shrink is not working. I see him later this morning and i am going to tell him enough with the medication for trying to fix my sleep problem. I will learn to live with it as i have these past many years and more intensly the past 6 months. I am fortunate I dont have a paying job I need to be at or i would once again end up in the hospital or intense treatment due to sleep deprivation which kicks in my bipolar and anxiety disorder.
Sorry this is so long…..I just wanted to share. Adrenaline is a great drug and i recommend it to everyone IN THE RIGHT SETTING lol. 🙂
Thanks for taking the time to read this.
Poor but happy, 🙂