I know that this is probably a stupid reason to be angry. But let me just start off with how my day was and why all of this led up to me having to actually leave the house and go for a walk.

Before I dropped my boyfriend off at work I had to deal with him prefering his hand over me. I even asked him about it and he just said 'well, I'm not in the mood.' So after all that and after I dropped him off at work I called my mom today, which I do every week. And all through the conversation she was telling me how my boyfriend is no good for me, and how I should just get enough money to buy a one-way ticket back to California. Then after 2 hours of that my boyfriend's mom dumped the kids on me. I had to take care of all three kids, which I didn't mind at first, but she ended up talking on the phone for 3 hours then going up to her bedroom…she gave me that kids at noon, I had to go upstairs and get her because I had to go pick up my boyfriend from work…that was at 5pm. She was in her room watching t.v.

Then my boyfriend got home from work and wanted me and him to go fishing. So even though I didn't want to go fishing, I went any ways and his little brother came too. We got home after over 4 hours of fishing and him not catching anything. Instead he and his brother goofed around by breaking bottles scattered around place where we were fishing. Then the bugs came out about an hour after we arrived. Every time a bug bites me over here it gets infected. Then it started raining. So we finally went home and I took a shower, I told my boyfriend that the only thing that I wanted to do was just lay in bed and cuddle with him and possibly have some 'nookie'. Instead he decides to go on his computer and chat with girls (like he used to do every waking moment), but this time, instead of just him typing, he puts it on the voice conferance thing, where you can see the person on the web cam and hear their voice…I just about lost it because I had to listen to two stupid *bleeping* *bleeps* laughing and giggling like stupid moronic school girls and talk about how stupid his girlfriend (me) is. And even better, I guess on the website he always goes on he actually has a f*cking fan club, and those two were in it.

So I just about lost it, so I started to leave the room and he wanted to know why I was leaving. GOD!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so angry right now I'm actually holding back my tears. THIS SUCKS A**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just want to scream at the top of my lungs and smash his computer into tiny pieces and then stomp on it until it's dust and then throw it out the window!!!!

I'm going to go for another walk.

1 Comment
  1. GetBetter 10 years ago

    That's a very good question. For most girls it's just because they're stupid and they think that "If I can fix him then he'll be perfect."

    But for me, I acutally came to realize the reason why I'm so attracted to him last night when I went on my second walk…I'm controling. If I had my own country I would be a benivelant dictator. All of my past relationships, when we broke up they havea always begged me to take them back, even though most of them dumped me. Even with people who were just "friends" wanted to take it to the next level once we stopped seeing eachother. And I realized, I've always dated guys who I could break, I've always dated guys that I could conquer, my boyfriends were basically like lap dogs. But the thing is, even though I'm controling, once they did what I said then it would make me happy, so I would make them happy. I would show that side of me that is loving, care free, supportive, compassionate, and just all around a wonderful person. And with my boyfriend now, I can't conquer him. No matter how hard I try I can't make him do anything and that angers me.

    True, he needs to stop being such an a**, and god knows how much I wish he wasn't.

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