As some of you may know from reading my earlier blog posts, I went to my Dr. the other day and was diagnosed with anxiety (big surprise) I’ve had it for a few years now I’ve just always been too much of a coward to go in and get treated for it. Yesterday however was a disaster as far as talking to my dr.

Why?

First: They did an EKG which I did NOT like at all! Then asked if I was pregnant THEN gave me antidepressants.

So are they diagnosing me with anxiety and depression then?

Second: I called off work because of my appointment.

I ended up calling my Dr back this morning telling him I’m not taking the antidepressants because I’m not depressed. They tried telling me it’ll help with the anxiety and I’m like yeah right. Okay so sure it may put me in a better mood but, do antidepressants help suppress fear & panic? No! They don’t! I was diagnosed with depression (mild) in high school which was short term and I took antidepressants then and guess what they made things a whole heck of a lot worse so when my Dr. gave me the same medication AGAIN for anxiety (not depression) forgive me, but I was a little reluctant.

I was in a pissy mood all day today at work and almost called off again (thankfully I didn’t because, bills). I spoke with my brother who also has anxiety and he talked me into making an appointment with a psychiatrist (not my family Dr) as they will be able to better help with my anxiety but in the meantime he advised me to take the celexia hbr until I can get into see the psychiatrist and get meds changed. Fine. So tomorrow morning I’m going to hopefully get a phone call to set up my first psychiatric appointment and until I actually go in and get new medications/counseling I’m going to take the stupid antidepressants :/ *rolls eyes*

4 Comments
  1. kay431 3 years ago

    I know how you feel about not wanting to be on antidepressants. I too was put on pills for my depression in high school, and It did make things a hell of a lot worse for me as well. One day after a year of being on them I decided to go cold turkey and stopped taking them completely. It was hell, I felt terrible for months and just off, but refused to take them. Slowly things got better. Years went by and I was able to keep my anxiety at bay but this past year has been terrible for me. Things have happend one after the other and reawakened my demons. It’s been hard and you have to be strong. But it is not easy especially having no one to talk to about this. My mother struggles with the same issues but is so dependent on her pills to function. Of course that’s all I hear from her is “get on pills.” It’s frustrating. And I feel alone. Been functioning with only 4 hours of sleep max a night. I feel like I’m losing my sanity the anxiety and panic attacks are happening everyday. I hope therepy works for you. Iv been told I need counseling but considering I’m inbetween jobs without insurance right now it’s just not going to happen until I can find work and get on my feet again. I’d like it if you would let me know if it makes a difference. Hope things work out for you,Best of luck.

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      fireheart9294 3 years ago

      Thank you and I’m so, so sorry you are going through all of that as well. I have days where I feel fine like today and yesterday although today it surfaced for a little bit but I was able to shove the anxiety down with deep breaths and I am getting very nervous about talking to a psychiatrist, I don’t even know where to begin and how to tell him/her my symptoms and thought process etc. I don’t even know the source of my anxiety I just know that 24/7 I am always worried about something even if I don’t know what it is and even like the past couple days when I feel fine I still have that little demon whispering in the back of my mind with it’s claws around heart & soul reminding me I’m not free. I’m always on edge even on the good days because any little word can cause a panic attack and i hate it. I haven’t taken the meds yet and honestly doubt I will, I want to wait until I talk to the psychiatrist but, I’ll let you know how it goes as I will also be posting an update.

      I don’t know where you live but you could always try applying for medicaid/medicare? I know it isn’t the best insurance but at least you would have something. My insurance is through my work but it’s costing 150.00 a month just to have it :/

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    • kdub 3 years ago

      Can you get on disability? You can probably get insurance that way.

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        fireheart9294 3 years ago

        No, I won’t apply for disability unless it absolutely came down to that. My health insurance is expensive but, it’s really good.

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