"impossible!"  You say???

Well here I am.  I am an average young woman that despises her cell phone.  I am always afraid I will get bad news and have to drop everything.  Maybe I am not afraid of the phone, or even afraid of bad news.  I am afraid that I will have to drop everything for whatever reason and go handle some crisis.  I am angry that certain people in my life call on me for help for things I really think are unreasonable.  I am angry that the call comes at all.  Tone does a lot for my anxiety level.  Sure, tell me about your crappy day!  But don\'t do it in a way that makes me think you are going to die over it!

my brother was fired form his job.  They wouldn\'t let him take breaks long enough to take his diabetes meds.  It was a terrible thing to do to him and not his fault.  However, he has had suicidal tendencies before, in which I got a call from a stranger telling me to come over and "handle it."  Now I am constantly looking at my phone, afraid it is going to ring and my Mom will want me to go over so her and I can just stare at him, or to come over because she can\'t handle his depression on her own, or god forbid a call saying he took some kind of action.

 

Then when I have to leave work or whatever, everyone will think I have too much drama in my life and I am lumped into that drama that I so badly want nothing to do with.

I just have to remind myself that I am not 15 anymore.  I no longed depend on my parents to drive me around, feed me or even live with.  I don\'t have to sit in a room with hysterical people anymore.  The question is, am I in that room in my head regardless of where I go?

1 Comment
  1. Lonesomeone 11 years ago

    I don\'t have a solution, but I hate my phone too and I don\'t even get that many calls! I\'m sorry and I hope you get some peace from the chaos both inside and out.

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