let's put you on repeat, baby,

repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat this in your head, head, head, head,

just until it feels good, good, good, good,

you getting sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleepy yet, baby?

let's put you on repeat, baby,

read every sentance once, twice, three, now four, oh are we going for five times?

despite how many times you read, read, read, read this, you'll never, never, never, never remember it, it, it, it,

so, so, so, so,

let's put you on repeat baby,

let's put you on repeat baby,

let's put you on repeat baby,

let's put you on repeat baby.

my phone is absolutly annoying the hell out of me this afternoon. It's right between my wrists as I type and it won't keep still, it won't stay in the perfect position and I swear someone keep's moving my keyboard too and I keep getting stuck when I'm walking and I've taken thirteen steps and I don't even like typing that number so I have to put fifteen now, do excuse me. Fifteen, eighteen, twenty.

I'm screwed when it comes to my college work, I mean I can't do it, I literally can't. We have to do things in groups of three and I hate that number, what in the world do I do? I tried asking him if I could do something else and the conversation went like this :

"Katy if you don't do that bit you'll just get a pass."
"What if I do the Distinction tasks too?"
"Still just a pass."
"Oh …."
"Are you stuck or something? Cause I can help you."
[why at this point I didn't tell him I was stuck I don't ever know. I wasn't so eh I don't know.]
"No, no, I just…I just don't like doing things in groups of three."
I got the DIRTIEST look EVER from him! The jerk.

So, yeah, I can't really do it and I'm just going to get a pass when I wanted Distinctions throughout all my work for my Diploma in Science but eh, it's typical. I was late earlier in the week by an hour and a half because I had to sort my room out otherwise I knew something would go wrong.

The only person I've told about my OCD thinks I should get help, but am I crazy to think if I get help and stop all my rituals things won't be okay? Things will get worse and worse and then someone will be hurt because I was selfish and I tried to stop ….

[I had to delete my previous blog, it was a horrible number, and I feel really silly saying that but I think people here will understand, well I hope you will, I really really do x]