I've spent the past few weeks trying to get medication from CVS Caremark. As of now I have 4 pills left to last me until Thursday. I usually have a stash, but that is gone. It's been a long time since I've had to go without drug, but this time I feel totally alone in my efforts to get assistance. It's bad when you worked your whole life and are perceived as being able to afford $105 for an emergency month of drug that is usually $30. What's wrong with fronting me 7 pills while we wait for UPS to deliver the drugs to my PO Box?Yeah. That makes sense also.

I've also been getting my house and farm ready for winter. Mulched leaves over three acres of grass, insolated the crawl space, winterized the mower, tiller and weed eater. I stood in the garden and ate the remaining cherry tomatoes while singing the Doxology. It'll be a while before I can partake of fresh picked tomatoes. I've canned, hoarded and frozen food. I'm considering breeding hogs this spring. Beef hogs. They eat grass like cattle. They have long hair like sheep.

My grandson left for Kuwait yesterday and I wheeled through the grocery crying like a baby. I had to stop in a corner to collect myself so people wouldn't think I was in distress. He is the grandson I lived to see born when I first diagnosed. He's 22 and in the Army. Big Red One. Pray for them please. I fear we are headed for something big.

Other than that. I'm lonely as an old woman needing her diaper changed. True love escapes me. I seem to attract the older men with long stringy hair, an attitude of toughness and a past that is worthy of a Stallone starring role. The nice ones are set in their ways and are content in their surroundings or else they are afraid of stepping out with a funny, loving woman. I just don't get it.

Football games and books are activities for today. Nice big supper and then off to the doctor's office tomorrow. I think I'll spoil the dogs with apples and bananas tonight with a few bites of chees. They are my life.

I hope this finds all of you healthy, happy and surrounded by love.


  1. ms83poz 8 years ago

    Never thought of Believeland as paradise. I feel ya Cinci, I feel ya. I came to terms w/ singleness when my love passed away. I had a bad feeling that my window of companionship was closed after spending 15 of the most fulfilling & breathtaking years w/ someone that loved me for everything but HIV. I can't describe now the feelings that I had when she would just walk in the room. Life is such a rollercoaster & dear Skeet, your in my thoughts xxxx

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  2. Cinciskeet 8 years ago

    Thanks Mark, tech n cool. I did get my meds.  All of them. Finally got the last ones yesterday.  I had to take two trips that are four hours round trip to collect everything.  I am now tucked in for the winter. Rain/snow currently.  I even bought milk and bread on sale while I was out and put it in the freezer.  I'm a tea person, so I'm good to go for the cold days and nights.  Oolong, chia, black, green and herbals.  Bring it on old man winter. 

    Grandson is fine and thanks for the prayers.  We've actually gotten to talk to him this past week. He's in headquarters so sort of in the rear with the gear for now.  But that is subject to change he says.

    As for the tomatoes, on Tuesday, it was 80° here. (It's 32 currently) I went out to the garden to collect some zinnias seed pods and scope out the tomato and pepper plants one more time.  The cherry tomatoes were still there and very tasty.  I now have cayenne peppers drying for tea that I use as pest spray for next summer.  I grow an organic garden.  

    In my 25+ years poz, I've learned chocy milk is the answer to every issue.

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