yesterday was the hardest day i have had, in a long time, or maybe ever…

but i made it through.

i was able to talk myself down from a panic attack. i decided to go to the gym which helped immensely for a good 2 hours afterward. i was excited and felt good. my husband and i went out to a happy hour and i was frustrated when 20 minutes in the anxiety came rushing back to me. we stayed and talked which helped. When we got home we decided to watch some tv and the anxiety came rushing back again and i felt i had to much energy in my body to sit still…my husband talked to me and tried to help but the anxiety and depression were becoming to strong for me to overcome them. my husband forced me to get up and go ot the store with him where we bought a sudoku book to keep my mind occupied. the rest of the night we did a couple puzzles, anxiety would creep back in to my mind and he would tell me to redirect my attention and frustration towards the puzzles. a couple times i became really angry with the sitiation, as it seemed completely silly that the only way i could cope was to do a puzzle and look at the numbers on the page through the tears that kept coming….but in the end it did help. i realize that maybe i have to do silly things that no one else has to do, maybe i will not get anything done in a day because i am just trying to stay busy, but in the end i will be stronger for it.

i have found that if i leave to take my dog for a walk first thing in the morning and then go from there it is way better then sitting around waiting for the anxiety to incapacitate me.

today has already been better then yesterday….although i know there will be a time today that will feel overwhelming, i have the tools to cope with this.

i have found the comments from people on this forum immensely helpful. it is always good to know that your not alone.