So I lost another friend today. One that has been here for me for a few months. One that I was there for when she needed me . It was a pretty well balanced relationship for a while. She said what happened to her, and I would listen, then it would go the other way around. We talked every day. Started with 2-3 times a day, reduced to one. One is good. She had a baby a month ago. I have a 12 year old daughter. I was there when advice was needed. Some of her choices I did not agree with, but friends are supposed to support each other with no matter what we choose to do. Or so I thought. Tonight, in one conversation, she reduced me to a puddle of miserable worthless mud. How I am at the rock bottom, how I depend on everyone to solve my problems for me, how I have nothing on my own. How I need professional help . How is it that, when your friends tell you that , it's just a way out for them? Basically saying, we do not wanna deal with u? I am not the one to cry wolf when I am faced with my anxiety. I try to deal with it myself. And I do, as hard and painful as it is at times, because I know all about frustrating people with it, and pushing them away. So unless I hit an absolute solid wall that I cannot break thru, I do not say anything, not to anyone. We all try to be open about what happens to us on this website, but the truth is, no one else, who does not deal with anxiety understands what it is exactly. They get frustrated with us, which is why we hide it with all means possible. Why we try so hard to act normal, and try to fit in. It hurt me tonight, probably more than I can express, because I have been trying so hard to deal with my problems on my own, to be so supportive to my friend. To live, to make my own little victories. I have been proud of being able to take care of my house, being able to cook dinner for me and my daughter, to have her friend over. These are little things, so insignificant in the whole big realm of things, but they were something to me. It has been more than I was able to do a few months ago. Now, she has made me feel like a total looser. I already know I am not good enough. I know that my progress is not fast enough. But I thought it was a better thing to celebrate my victories, no matter how small they are, than to dwell on what I am not able to do, not just yet anyways. It hurts because who I thought was my best friend, told me that I was the crazy lady, and kicked me aside so easily. She is probably right, I probably need help. I try to deal with things on my own first though. And I believed that when I was ready to ask for help, I would. I just feel like I took a step forward, and 10 steps back. I know I will get thru this. But I also know that I will not be willing to trust anymore after this. I didn't feel like it was a good idea in the first place, and now I have been confirmed in my belief. Thank you for listening to me. Has this happened to any of you? How did you deal with it?