I haven’t been around for a while. I suppose I just haven’t been very chatty lately, I’ve sort of been keeping to myself.
My boyfriend was supposed to spend like two weeks with me at school and then a week or more at my house since he has some time off before he starts back into school over the summer but his mother is a total bitch and ruined the whole thing.
At first, she said he could go as long as we could come up with the money. I have the money (and it’s my turn to pay) but then she came up with like 42 excuses as to why he couldn’t visit me. She didn’t want him here at the school, she didn’t think he could afford it, she’d pay as long as he allowed her to blackmail him, it was Mother’s Day weekend, she was too busy to decide, etc.. She finally settled on, "You can stay at her house but not her dorm, I don’t want you two doing anything." I had to reassure her that there’d be parental supervision which is insane for several reasons. Firstly, I’m 20 and he’s 19, get over it. Secondly, she didn’t have a problem with us staying together alone for a week when he was 18 and I was 19. Thirdly, she’s very liberal when it comes to this sort of thing so, yeah… And finally, she keeps acting like she’s terrified to let him stay with other people when she, herself, is quite a bad parent while my parents are both retired and always around and always watching. They’d never let even a quarter of the crap that goes on in their house happen in our own.
So we thought we had the problem solved but now she doesn’t want him leaving without first securing a job. She’ll sign her daughter’s loans but she won’t sign my boyfriend’s unless they’re in his name. Apparently he was offered Parent Plus loans but they turned them down. -_- They’ll help her with whatever she wants but won’t lift a finger to help him so they’re harping on him to get a job while she just goes shopping every day. He’s been trying but he’s found it very difficult, I think, because he’s so shy and consequently doesn’t leave people with the best impression.
We’ve been fighting with her for weeks on this. Weeks. As a result, my anxiety has kicked into overdrive. Between being sick of her and missing him and fearing my final and worrying that I’m going to screw up changing majors and my Dad complaining about my boyfriend’s mother too, I’m about ready to burst. It seems like I start having anxiety attacks at 6:00pm so I’ve begun going to bed no later than 7:00 or 8:00 most nights. I’m only up now because I’m really keyed up and pacing back and forth across my room hoping she’ll finally just let us get the plane tickets already.
I don’t really understand why my anxiety attacks start when they do. Does that even make any sense? Why would they start in the evening? Is there a logical explanation for why I’m okay all day but freak out in the evening?