This blog will be my Anxiety outlet. I usually keep everything in. Hopefully by me writing on here my fears and such, it will help.

In my early Junior year of High School, I had a huge panic attack that really kick started my disorder. I have always been anxious and panicy about death ever since I was little, but never really knew what it was until later. I had this huge attack the day after Christmas and ended up in the ER. After that, for the rest of winter break I couldn't leave the house. I stayed inside, barely ate or drank and had attacks about every night.

My mother got me appointments with a Psychiatrist and a Therapist. I was put on medication for my depression and anxiety and started to see my Therapist regularly. I then went into a girls group therapy and continued with my individual as well. Things were looking ok until early Senior year when I was taken out of school for being a danger to myself (for the second time).

After that I was doing good again, but went downhill and kiept going down even through starting college.

I regularly have anxiety, especially when off my meds. I know for a fact that I am so much worse off them and they do help, but my problem is that I don't take them regularly enough. I have many fears, especially about death, of my family (especially my mother) and myself. Also just of anything bad happening freaks me out everyday. It keeps me up at night, prevents me from sleeping, from concentrating on school and work. The stress gets to me and so does the anxiety. I haven't had a full blown panic attack in a long time which is good, but I still fear of having one again.

I struggle with anxiety everyday. Sometimes it truly does rule my life and my actions. I try not to let it get to me, but it won't leave.

This was just a breif background. Thank you.