I've been feeling much better lately. It seems that the lexapro I've been taking, along with the other changes in my life, are finally starting to help me. I'm still working on things though.

One thing thatseems to be helping is not suppressing my emotions. Journaling as well as talking to people about what is upsetting me have proven to help me a great deal. I think when you bottle your emotions, they must surface somehow and ultimately for me, that takes the form of panic attacks.

I'm also trying to eat healthier and exercise more, meditate,and I am not drinking at all. For one, because of the lexapro, but also because drinking for me has sometimes been a way to self medicate. I would always feel worse afterwards, though.

While I am doing so much better than I was a month ago, I'm still nervous about some events coming up in the future. Next month, I'm going with my boyfriend to his brother's wedding in a different state. We will be flying there, which makes me a little anxious to think about. Being on planes sometimes makes me feel claustrophobic and has, in the past, triggered some nasty panic attacks. Also, not being in a familiar environment can sometimes be tough for me. On the one hand, I am looking forward to the trip because I've never been to the city that we're going to, but on the other hand, I worry about having panic/anxiety issues. Also coming up, my boyfriend and I have our first real gig in May (we write music together, I sing and he plays the guitar/keyboard). It's not a big one, or even a paid one, but it's still a big deal for me (he's played lots of shows before). I hope that we do a good job and that I don't forget any lyrics or otherwise make an ass of myself.

Having said that,I think I've just re-discovered something that I need to work on — my negative thinking. I always do that "What if this?" "What if that happens?". Negative thinking only makes it worse. I NEEDto remember that.

For anyone out there reading this, I wish you peace and wellness