I've had anxiety issues since I was a kid…and over time they've gotten worse. I haven't been able to go to regular therapy because of school/work, but I know there's a problem. I've tried coping techniques like writing in a journal or talking to family/friends, but I feel like even that is not helping me.
My fiance and I have been together for 2 years and 3 months. This is the longest relationship either of us have been in, and we've been through a lot together. Since the economy has taken a downfall, my fiance's and my views on money are contrasting. For him, money is meant to be spent. When he used to get money for holidays, allowance, etc., it was spent the day he received it, or a few days after. For me, money no longer had that same effect. It was all about saving. Having a spender and a saver in the same relationship poses some issues.
We're about to make this big move into our first apartment. Before this, we lived with our parents and paid them rent. Now, we're transitioning into our first home. We have some money in savings, but not a whole lot…we're relying mostly on our income to support us. We were doing really well before. Our credit cards were paid off, we were putting money in savings, and everything seemed as though it was looking up. But then he goes and buys me a $200 iPod for my 19th birthday. I can't say I didn't want it…but he already spent $100 on my Christmas present, and I already felt guilty about that. So now that's $300 spent on me…$300 we no longer have to put into savings. He has rent due to his mother and a car insurance payment due in two weeks. That money could have easily gone to that. My books for my second semester of college could have been paid for. Even my court costs for fighting a ticket could have been put aside and paid later. It bothers me deeply that $300 is now gone, and I can't return either of the items because they've been opened and used…and we're still in debt.
We got into a fight about it yesterday. He said next time he's going to think twice before he gets me anything. It's not that I don't appreciate the gesture. I just cannot appreciate the gift knowing that we have so many more expenses, and our hours at work are being cut due to the fact that retail cuts hours after the holidays. I just want him to realize that he needs to evaluate our expenses before our luxuries. I could have gone without the iPod until my next birthday or Christmas. It's not something I need. What I need is a place to call home…our apartment…which now has to be pushed back because we cannot come up with the full amounts for deposits.
So…I don't know what to do. He has a spending problem. I have an anxiety problem.