I'm not ignoring anyone's messages or comments. I'm just not in a state to be responding right now. I will eventually,but I just need to get a hold of myself right now. Things are not good, and I'm really on the edge here. I keep trying to remind myself that God doesn't give us more than we can handle, but sometimes I think we get ourselves into things that we can't handle. I'm just emotionally in a terrible position. Sometimes I feel like I can't do this anymore. I know I have to put my faith in the Lord, and just deal with life as it comes, but to say that I'm miserable would be an understatement. Things have crumbled around me, and I'm left standing here just feeling completely helpless and alone. I don't know what to do, or what I can do except continue breathing and trying to stick to some sort of routine to occupy my mind. I worry non-stop lately. Worse than usual. My hormones are all over the place. The person that I thought I was going to marry, just left me for another woman. My Mom's health continues to decline, and I can't even fathom the thought of her not being here. There are so many things adding up, and on top of this I'm still in school. I've had more anxiety attacks lately than I have in years…with one I actually fainted from hypervenilating myself. I'm just desperate, and overwhelmed. I'm thankful for the friends I have on here, but in real lifeI don't have any anymore. I never expected this to be my life, and for years I was delusional enough to think that I'd actually get better, and some miracle would cure my Mom, and somehow everything would be ok. But that's not realistic. Life doesn't work that way. Life sucks. It sucks for everyone, even people who put on a fake happy face. In the end we're all alone, and we need to face things alone, and somehow find a way to cope. I can already tell that, like yesterday, today will not be a good day.

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