Why is it that some people end up like this? Completely hyper-sensitive to even the most simple, normal human activities and behaviours. What should be a pleasant, social occasion can turn into a living hell because of anxiety before and during an event. Then there\'s the crushing depression and frustration after the event because of being unable to fully participate and enjoy it.
This weekend for example, I\'m due to go on a camping trip. This should be a good thing. I like camping. But guess what? I\'m already anxious about it.
I\'m worried about pretty much everything to do with it from very basic practical things to the ridiculously extreme:
1. what if it takes a long time to get there (it might not)
2. what if the car blows up (it won\'t)
3. what if there\'s a terrorist attack (unlikely)
4. what if it rains (I could put my coat on)
5. what if the toilets are dirty (it\'s only 2 nights – I\'ll wee in a bucket)
6. what if the tent collapses (laws of physics say it probably won\'t)
7. what if it\'s really dark and there\'s no electric lights on site (I\'ll use a torch)
8. what if the children get sick (we\'ll pack up and come home)
9. what if there are dogs there (we\'ll ignore them until they go away)
10. what if we get lost on the way (we\'ll use the map, or call for help)
Do you get the picture? And all of this anxiety has kept me up at night and woken me at 6 in the morning and it\'s still three days before we even pack up to go. Other people are not worrying about this trip yet. They probably haven\'t even thought about it. But I can\'t even think about them yet as that\'s a whole other bag of worry. There will be other people there. Lots of them. We\'re all meeting up for a big party. Some of the people I will not even know.
How am I going to cope?