So im being really naughty right now. sitting at work, pretending to work.
I have gotten really bad lately, ever since i was a little kid i have been a worry wort, an overly stressed person. there usually isnt a thing im stressed about, more like a group of circumstances, or little things, that just happen, and im stressed, heck i wake up stressed. (Im thinking of painting my whole house yellow as a sort of colour therapy thing, dont think id ever sleep tho) point of the story is im constantly stressed and usually it not really about anything, i just stress. Anyway so that stress has been effecting my physically. Im feeling nauseous alot of the time. Preventing me from going out, which i dont mind sometimes. theres no place better for me than being at home, im in my comfort zone and in control, and i dont have to put up with stupid people and stupid rules of society. for example; one of the boys just came in to reception and asked reception if he could borrow sticky tape, when he came back to return it he said "smells nice" and took a big sniff. not near the food (which was what smelt nice) just where he was. now that pisses me off and turns me off and makes me want to avoid him, but of course this was one of those comments ur meant to laugh politely at (with the commenter of course). So they both did that fake laugh u do when someone says something u dont think is funny but its polite to laugh. gah, it just peeves me. i want to be able to be in that situation and when he says that if i dont think its funny then i dont have to laugh and i wont get funny looks or outcast cos i am not socially polite or normal….i dunno. i think i just find it inconvenient to have to act a certain way in certain situations, when i really dont give a fuck.
Venting helps my tummy. So does mint, i bought a mint plant the other day, i cant wait till its big enough to make mint tea.
So, im thinking, im gunna move out to a farm thats in teh middle of no where, ill live off the land, (thats food taken care of) ill have rain water tanks for water. ok so theres a few kinks. but i can work it out, i just want to get away from society. i hate having to talk to people and shit. I would learn how to be a ….smith…metal smith, silver smith, gold smith, whatever. How fun.
Anyway im off for morning break then back to it.