I first noticed my OCD when I was 6 when I had to always keep my hand on my chest to make sure my heart was still beating, I was afraid it would stop. I found myself looking forward to the pledge of allegiance because it gave me an excuse to put my hand on my chest to check my heart. By the time I was 8 my anxiety had peaked to the point that I gave myself ulcers which is very rare in children. I have had my fear of food contamination the longest and between that and the ulcers I have often lost so much weight that I almost needed to be hospitalized. In the past few years I have started having agoraphobia to the point where I rarely leave my apartment. I hate driving, highways, traffic, having to be places at a certain time for extreme fear of being late. I'm afraid of strangers I always think they are going to hurt me or kill me or are thinking bad thoughts about me. I fear authority figures, police officers, bosses, doctors etc. I can barely work because I'm constantly afraid I'm going to get in trouble or reprimanded even if I've done nothing wrong. I have panicked and quit several really good jobs and was unable to finish college because of my illness. I feel guilty and worried all the time. I want it all to go away. I have tried medication Zoloft and Lexapro and neither worked for me. Zoloft made me a zombie and sometimes hallucinate, and Lexapro did nothing. I want to try therapy, but because I can't work I can't afford it. I'm hoping to find some free or low cost help in Texas so if anyone has suggestions I would much appreciate it. We shall see how it goes.