So, I'm supose to be doing my homework right now but that's not something that I really want to do. So I got on here. My last blog was about my life being all wrong and honestly it still is. I hate coming home now because I hate my mother now. I haven't told her and I really don't know if she know but honestly I don't care. I play nice just so we don't start fighting again. Despite everything, I'm done fighting. I'm done with the yelling and the hurt. I just want to go through life thinking that everything is okay when it really is not. I only have a couple years left and I can't wait till they are done with.My boyfriend and I are still together despite everything that happened. I'm really glad. I don't think I could handle him actually really loosing him with everything that is going on right now. School is slightly overwhelming with everything that has been happening. I do my homework though… Well, I have an F in French right now but it's really not what you think. We don't turn in a lot of homework in that class and I didn't turn in one thing and it dropped me instantly down to an F this semester. Give me a little time and I'll be able to get it back up. I just need to do the homework and I'll be fine. But yeah… life kind of sucks right now. But I am hanging on… Which I guess is a good thing… I still don't have my ipod. Which really really really sucks. Music is my escape. It's what I use to cope with my life. And she took it away… I've been listening to my radio and the one CD that I have. Or at least the one CD that I like. The CD is Tim McGraw… So it's an awesome CD just by that but my boyfriend gave it to me making it better. So whenever I play it (now being all the time..), I'm always thinking about him.

Anyways… I wish I could go somewhere. I feel so trapped. This birthday is going to be really crappy. I need to get some money so that I can pay back the like 15 bucks that my mom gave me for the ipod. then it's like legally mine and she has to give it back to me… I just wish everything was the way it was a couple years ago. When everything was stable. When nothing bad was arizing. When everything was just… perfect. Hopefullly, when I move out, everything will be somewhat stable and I can be happy with my life. Right now I just need to get a job! So I can start saving up some money. Plus I won't be home nearly as much if I have a job. Which is yet another bonus. I think Steak and Shake are hiring around here. But I still have less than a week time I can actually apply. Then I still have to get a workers permit… Should be fun…

I have to do my homework now. This may be the only time that I can get on the computer. And I have a lot of homework to do on the computer so… wish me luck!

1 Comment
  1. Andie372 10 years ago

    If I could talk to your mother, I would tell her to wake up and realize what a loving, caring, sensitive, beautiful daughter she has, and to treat you nicely. As a teen I loved and needed music in my life (still do) so I can understand how you feel. I'm sure you will bring your grades up, and I know you can handle school. You just hang in there, better days will come

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