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Me and my sister never used to get on, There are 8 years between us, I am the youngest.  When I was going through a difficult time in my teenage years,

 I was self harming and trying to think of ways to kill myself and she would constantly be getting me in trouble with Dad. 

 She lived away but came back every weekend and every week end was the same.  When I have had councilling in the past, she has always come into every thing.

I am now married with children and she is on her own with her little boy, We get on quite well now and we see each other a lot. 

Over the past few years she has been diagnosed with a condition and when she has bouts of it  am the person she calls which i dont mind and i go to hers and help her and look after her.  My Mum is getting on now but she does help with the children.

My husband is usually understanding, but does get a bit cross in the middle of the night when i get a call, especially now as he works awy and only comes home at weekends.  We usually end up rowing and its horrible.

My problem is that i still hold a grudge after all these years she made things really miserable then, but i love her and i would always want to help her, its just that i have another sibling whom does not really put herself out to help and even if she did, my other sister only wants me to help.  She says constantly," Im glad Mum and Dad had you because i dont know what i would do otherwise"  I hate her saying that.

I think this is so smaller problem and i know others have alot worse, its just at the moment things are really bad in my head. I want to scream and cry but i cant, and I feel so torn between my two families that i just dont know what  to do.

Sorry for winging.

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