I'm having a pretty bad anxiety/OCD attack right now. It's not the usual harm one but it's frustrating. I just took an anxiety pill which will hopefully make me drowsy and also take the edge off. I don't know if it can soothe the anxiety.

It's been my 4th day on paxil. I'm not sure what are the side effects. Tonight, I had an old high school friend over and I think I may have ticked him off. This worries me as he's friends to a lot of people and I don't want them thinking badly of me. I accidently let it slip that I thought his type of music "sucked", and I don't know, he and my other best friend we're relating so well with their styles of music it just seemed like I was left in the dark and I felt uninteresting.

I had sent him 3 text messages and he didn't respond, even though he had his phone on all night and was playing it at my place. He then left early even though earlier on tonight he had said he only needed to sleep for like 5 hours. :/ I may have really ticked him off. We were also talking about the past and EVEN HE was bringing up old stuff but he seemed to have gotten upset!

So much for rekindling an old friendship. Maybe I got jealous. I think my anxiety sort of overtook me there. But as long as he continues to not respond, I'll be obsessing over what I had done. I think I get too excited and I wanted to impress him. I don't like-like him but I had missed him and had appreciated his interest in renewing our friendship.

He seems like an easy-going sort of person, but he knows I have my issues. @__@

I shouldn't have gotten so defensive and silly, perhaps I had thought I was safe when I wasn't. Or, perhaps…I can't read what people think!

I hope this paxil starts kicking in so I can think rationally…gahhhh!!!

1 Comment
  1. tpmnight 13 years ago

    Try not to worry too much. I do the same thing as you – obsess and obsess over what I said and how the other person took it. He probably heard what you said about the music, considered your opinion and then continued on. Remember, most people don’t obsess over one thing in a conversation like we do 🙂  Try to remember that there could be plenty of reasons he left early, and most of them would have nothing to do with you. Hope you’re doing a little better today. 

    0 kudos

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