Why am I nicknamed Bats? I have a bat phobia. I also have the phobia of rabies. Both are rare, severe and ruining my life. I have varyious other phobias as well…oh yes, they control my life.

I have OCD ontop of this.

Phobias: Irrational fears, that the person suffering from them KNOWS are irrational, yet cannot get the repetitive fear to leave their mind. I obcess over things that frighten me.

Rabies – after a bat exposure, and a cat exposure one week apart, this onset and has not left. I no longer camp, go out at night without tremendous fear and if I feel anything drop on me from the sky, I sterilize my whole body.

Bats – a bat exposure causing me to have to get a full series of Rabies vaccinations prompted the fear of rabies. My cats now live indoors and the animals I used to love handling, I am now afraid of.

Spiders – terrified of spiders. Think all spiders are poisonous, until proven otherwise.

Heights – absolutely terrified to get off the ground more than a foot to 3 feet.

Germs – bad breath, buttons, coughing people, people who touch their nose, people cooking my food, touching my food…etc. The whole 9 yards.

Panic attacks – about Emphysema, COPD and dying in varying ways, including all the above.

H1N1 – lung issues prompted this fear. I am terrified of it. I will wash a shopping cart and shop at night to avoid other people…if I even leave my house.

OCDs:

Handwashing – extensive

Nail biting – profile image.  Self explanatory. 

Pimple and blemmish removal – to the point of scars

Gossip – if someone gossips about me, I go insane thinking about it over and over again. I was really hurt by bullies and gossipping and it is something I will fascinate over to the point I cry incessently if it happens.

Other issues:

Suicidal ideation

Severe depression

Isolation -agoraphobia

Cutting – scratching holes in my body, arms, legs, chest, stomach

NO mental health facility within 50 miles and no transportation.

Medications: Zoloft, sporatically for depression

I need help. I sought out this forum in hopes to learn skills to cope. In lieu of how screwed up it looks like I am, you may not even know I have a lot of the above going on. I try to curb it and I am as normal as I am able when I have to be.