The last few weeks have been terrible. I feel like the old has slowly creeped back. It's not back full force but there are days when it feels like it is. All my worries keep me from having a good night sleep. I'm up quite late and wake early for the kids. I worry aboutbothing really. Nothing worries. Like worrying that I am healthy (physically) because recently a family member was diagnosed with cancer. Thankfully he is in remission right now and chemo and radiation have worked, but I worry about him as well.Thankfully I'm still on maternity leave, but that leads to another worry… Going back to work. I have a hard time trusting people with my kids. I usually only drop my kids off with my parents, or with my in-laws. I have siblings and so does my husband, but it's hard to. Firstly, I on,y trust people who either have kids or have raised kids. It's diffeernt when you don't have kids. I know when I didn't have children yet, how naive I was in terms of raising kids. I wouldn't know what to do if I had to watch them. My son doesn't get a long with his older cousin and he picks on him and one time I caught him locking my son'sarms behind his back trying to jump off a step with him. my son is 3 years younger.and once my niece almost pushed my son down the stairs because she didn't want him to play. Thankfully my dad was behind him and caught him.I just stopped trusting letting the kids play without adult supervision. Even Ifit's just upstairs. I mean they are young, oldest 6, so I don't see it totally unreasonable. It seems negligent to not watch them at that age. Whenever my kids aren't with me, I worry sick about them. I don't know if it's just a mom thing or thatI obsess about their safety, but I just don't want it to turn into a debilitating thing. I will have to go back to work in a few months and we have found child care with a friend of ours who has kids, so I think that will be okay. However, I don't know how the stress of getting the kids out of the house, getting to work on time, picking up the kids, and getting the house all organized is going to affect my ability to deal with my ocd. I'm hoping the busyness will keep my mind off of it, but at the same time, stress and ocd feed off of each other. …

1 Comment
  1. Ablee 6 years ago

    I am a mom too and i have to say i was a bit overcautious at times.  When they are young some parents are and some aren't doesnt mean something is wrong with you.  now my kids are teens my son went from homeschool (kind of a mix home and on campus which was awesome) to public school which was kind of a animal house, guess what, he got bullied and then we worked it out and he did great.  In fact my oveprotectiveness kind of made him friends cause i got right in their face told them straight out its not ok and after that they thought we were cool.  Now how crazy is that?  I am kind of shy and timid but when there is wrong my friend said my mama bear comes out.  I love having kids, and when they are young its stressful when they are older there are different stressors but let me tell you your life is enriched.  Trust your instincts you will do fine.

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