Be the best you can be!  I love that! My comments make me happy, sometimes they make me puzzled, like a pure breed boxer when I did private house cleaning, I talked to it in Greek, then thought wrong language cause it still was on my vaccum cleaners cord, sometimes we just don’t get it, and we are puzzled why do I do this, I cannot live with this.  We do worry to much about our imperfections and sometimes think we are not strong, or wasting time. I being a thinker,think probably, way too much.  I also think I probably was doing exactly what I was suppose to be doing.  I say why can’t I do it all? Why do these rituals? I must be weak, then I think about my life and each thing that had happened and think if I really was weak I would of never made it, and still be standing here today.  It makes you rethink and reprogram your brain to say hmmm….. maybe I am stonger than I think, but then why for this problem…….. Is it a built in survival thing? When I can laugh with myself like when my daughter was home and she would say you guys are goobers!  And raisenets I would say? I promised myself, kind of long time ago,that I would not let life take my smile away from me, so I guess in many ways I am a survivor. I never had I right person tell me that they believed in me so I can believe in myself, but I had strangers pretty much tell me, like my G.E.D teacher. When I asked her if she though I could do something she told me, I believe if you really put your mind to it you can do it!  Wow! How is it that God always puts the right people in front of you for strength, and at the same time you are put in front of other people for strength!  Is it just coincidense?!  Strange isn’t it! Like Mrs Smith was with me in the ICU with George’s triple heart bypass surgery.  How did I know that I would meet Mrs. Smith on that day?!  She gave me strength and I hope I gave her some back too! These days it is just everyday things, but there were days when the burdens and fights were much too bare. There were days and there were days. I think when you are bothered by OCD every day is a struggle, some days are not as bad as others. No matter what is happening it is always a big deal to face each day, but yet we still do it with courage, whether we realize it or not.  For me these past few years took there toll from State attorney of Missouri for a crime that was done to a loved one, to the wedding of my son in Greece, that my joy could not even be told.  Funny, ironically, just a little before that I would walk in the dark, and I would fall to my knees in tears.  I visited this church where I walked around it and one evening my heart raced so fast I thiught that it would stop, but it did not, my pain was so deep and not for just me and my OCD, it was with what was happening in my life.  Even when I forget about me, to take care of me, my heart and God never gave up on me, for i might of been doing what I was suppose to be. I don’t even remember that day how the OCD was, but I remember these last few years and the OCD was unbearable.  I look back on it now and just want to say to anyone and everyone, and when we see so much what people can live with. I would see a beautiful gilr with no arms or hands, but she looked and functioned great, it makes me think, it is just a way of life yet she looked stronger than I could of been. We underestimate ourselves, our strengths, and our accomplishments, that when we think back in our lives we have done more and lived through more than we give credit to ourselves. I want to positively give strength and motivation when I can for I was never given this at home from my mom. And though I have it lacking in me, I try to some extent push myself to give strength to my kids and others! Just don’t forget about you-take care of you! On that note a bid all goodnight! God bless! Love- Ekaterini- Katerina- Kati-Kathy, any version of my name is fine!


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