Thanks to everyone who gave words of encouragement and understanding to me about that strange, end of the world feeling that got me feeling so bad. It didn't last that long thankfully (but actually thinking about it brings it back a little… my goodness). X___X
Anyway, i was thinking about how best to describe it and figure it out. It's almost like 10x the feeling you get during a mid-life crisis. This extreme feeling of emptiness like you don't know what the hell you are doing and it's useless whatever you are doing. I'm curious to know whether any of you guys feel like this after particular events.
I felt especially like this after i finished a stressful assignment. Of course i should be feeling happy, and i did a little, but after that feeling of relief and happiness wore off, and nothing really changed and i felt like there was no one to talk to, nothing exciting going on and generally just lonely, that was kind of when it started. Like things are meaningless…
I don't even really know if this is 'normal' or something that is not related to OCD, hearing you guys talk about it, it does seem like it is related. I think it's one of those things, like dread that makes you want to rely on your compulsions to feel better. For me it felt like if i changed the way i did some things, ex. where stuff is on my desk, the place i put some papers etc. then it would get better… Does it strike you randomly? Or does it happen after something in particular?
Cause honestly, my post probably sounded somewhat 'emo' or whiny to people who don't really know(?maybe it still sounds like that?), but it seems like you know what i mean.
PS. Is anyone else afraid of talking about their compulsions and stuff…? A superstitous feeling…?