Today has been a pretty good day. :-)My Uncle is starting to come around and realize who he is again, but only in short spans. After the initial awakening from surgery a couple of days ago he was lucid, but only for a short while. Then he went back into delirium. They've been keeping him pumped full of morphine for the headache and Ativan to keep him sedated. He's been violent~ trying to yank the drains out of his skull and the IV's and such too. And he actually threatened (and intended) to PUNCH one of the female nurses if she didn't get away from him. Luckily he seems to be past most of that, but after being a police officer in Harlem, NY for 20 years he's got a LOT of scary memories that he gets lost in and forgets where he is. He keeps calling for backup from other officers. It would be sort of funny if it wasn't such a dire situation and so painful for him.

I dropped my Mom off at the airport this morning for her to go on vacation. That took some serious effort to convince her to go ahead and go…she was afraid to leave with Dick still in the ICU. But the truth is, her being there is not going to make a difference one way or another in how things turn out. He doesn't remember anything that's happened in the last few days and most of the time doesn't even wake up when you're there. There's nothing she can do; this is his wife's job now. It's her husband, and she needs to be there with him. My Mom always gives too much of herself when she doesn't have enough as it is~ my aunt needs to get a grip and be the wife she should be. I'm sorry, I know that sounds disrespectful and judgemental, but my Mom can't hold her hand all the way through every step. Even after he gets out of the hospital he's going to have to move into physical therapy rehab for awhile. We all have lives that go on regardless of what's happening, and we have to attend to those lives. My aunt doesn't understand that.

So my vacation started today as well. I'm taking a week off of work to spend at home and a few days with my husband (he's got a 4 day weekend) since it didn't happen when he was on vacation a couple of weeks ago. I'm looking forward to the peace and quiet of having days to myself and Aaron and then over the weekend just the 3 of us as a family.

I see my therapist tomorrow for the first time in over a month, and I'm glad. I've got a lot of talking to do with her. And I've got a 5 p.m. appointment instead of 7 p.m., so I'm much happier about that! It'll be good to see her, I really have come to consider her a friend who has my best interests at heart and is pretty wise to my behaviors and cycles of thinking. She helps me identify so much when I can't get out of my own way to see clearly.

I hope everyone is doing okay~ please keep Nat and Natalie in mind; they both could use some support right now. Take care, and all my love. ~ Key


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