I finally went to the Dr… unfortuanatly, in doing so, secrets came out and my mother lost even more trust in me.
You see I'm 19 and my cycle is waaaaaaaaaaaay far from normal. and the Dr. asked the typical questions. Are you pregnat? Are you sexually active? Are you on birth control? Before i can answer he orderd a pregnancy test to be done. then he let me answer.
No i am not pregnant and i am not on birth control. the very thought of in makes me sick. And don't you need a partner to be sexually active? so therefore, no i am not. I haven't even had a boyfriend in over a year(unfortunatly yet fourtunatly). His bastard ass left me after he got what he wanted.
FUUUUUDGE. usually i wodn't talk bad about him, but my mom brought him up this morning in trying to find out if i had sex or not. She is a real big supporter of not having sex untill people are married. and after learning the hard way. i am too, except not so big.
anywho. The Dr. took the liberty of translating every testbeing taken to my mom. when the dr. left my mom tryed drilling me. unfortunatly, every time there is preassure to me to answer a serious question, i end up laughing and then crying, whether i'm lying or not.
In the end, ther results were negative, i have, as they put it a "female exam" this Friday, and to top it all off. He perscribed me Norgestimate-Eth Estradiol. In other words. he put me on birth control. the very thing that pushed me over the edge and caused me to almost kill myself. It messed with my emotions so bad. He said that it should regualate me. and if it doesn't, then there is something very wrong with me. the thing is. i'm just going to go back to my messed up cycle. skipping three to five months at a time. twiceduring twenty-eight days.
Ex: it's nothing serious, you don't have cancer. don't worry about it.
Mother: thats not normal. maybe it's just this month, wait untill next month. your just stresed.
Very close friends: It's the reacuring of theemaculate conception! it happens. are you preggers? you'll get it next month.
and now look where i am. I'm scared. what if something is wrong with me. i want kids when i grow up. at least one biological child.
In happy news… There is none. Being female sometimes sucks… Wait i found something happy. my brother found my knife for me… and then my mom took it away from me again. and despite gaining a bit of wieght, i've been told that it looks as if i lost wieght… PIE!
hope everyone is having a good night/ day/time.