well the insomia thing is just runnign with itself like crazy its 2 am and i barely feel sleepy. iam gonna force myself to lay in bed in the dark in a minute and then hope for the best. 

well tribers.. my mood is kind agood cause i did something productive today that nearly killed me 🙂 i went to b&q and bought 150litres of compost (a.k.a really really really really heavy) with my granny trolly in hand.

in the end i strapped (bungee cords) the bag to the trolley and lugged to the bus stop .

unfortunately my granny trolley died from all the weight as i was tryign to get it onto the bus. 1 kind ( and surprisingly strong) bus driver later i heaved the bag through the maindoor and literally collapsed onto my sofa. 

i could not moved for about 1hr ?? i was so exhaused my muscles were shaking and i felt headachy and was shivering (maybe i am gettign ill?)

the goal of this endevour was to plant my own potatoes, herbs and salads so that i can eat on me this christmas and also to create something for me to do in those moments of weakness when i stare into space and where my mind says things i dont want to hear and wher i ebgin to feel down and low. i need something to really fill this time thus meet my new hobby.

broke i might be.. but i figure this is an investment in happiness? in well less depression… cheaper than drugs…lol

and pills… lol 🙂

to all you tribers out there who are reading . i will keep you up to date. i will let you know if it helps and how it helped. i want to thank you all even if there is only one of you for giving me someone to talk to.

goodnight and fare well 


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