I thought the drama was over with my family and there cruel behavior tords me.I dont have any contact with them ,and have managed to keep them out of our lives for a long time. Every time I check my email Theres a message from my older sister.I have told her to leave me alone and stop with the hate mail. All she does is belittle me ,and my children. She calls me white trailer trash and I dont even live in a trailer,not that ,that matters.She keeps telling me to cut real deep so I dont miss a vain. She says to have a cut fest with my kids and bleed all over. I was informed that I know longer have a family ,that Im dead to all of them and always have been. The thing that bothers me so much is I havnt had anything to do with them for years.This attack is all comeing from a book that was written .I called them out on there lies,and reminded them of the sexual ,mental,physical torchure I was put through. All the years of torment from them.What I dont understand is why there attacking me .They went through a lot too, but Im the one they have always hated.They were always so scared I would tell our dirty little secrets ,but I didnt . I know the rules of code silence. They want me to kill myself like my brothers. Beleive me I have tried ,but they keep bringing me back. I have died several time only to be saved to deal with this crap. I love my children so much ,but I cant help but dream of the day they go to college so I can end my pain. The time is so near ,but seems so far off. I couldnt sit by while they wrote there crap,I had to say something to defend myself. They are so scared of the truth getting out ,and there image destroyed, that they dont care who they hurt.I have always been loyal and there punching bag.I havnt forgotten that they were buried alive as well. If they get drunk they remember alot too.Holly is so scared that I will tell people that her and my brother helped my dad dig the graves for us younger kids. Shes so scared that people will judge her for me being raped while she was there.My mom is so scared that people will know she did nothing to save me and let it and more happen. Hell ,Im to ashamed and scared to tell anyone about my family from hell. I know i need to get over it ,but how can I do that when they continue to torment me. Cutting sounds so good right now.


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