Woke up with headache today because slept in. Woke up wishing i had someone to go out with but obviously don't so went back to sleep un-necessaraly. When i get headaches they're the smallest most pathetic disturbances ever but i never get them so when i do get them i know somethings not balanced. Its also the depression type feelings that come with it. I feel worst when im ill. Im mentally ill constantly, but when your physically ill ontop of that its completely uncopable. I havnt yet found a way to put the loneliness and isolation of that into words but i cany be bothered now because luckily that diddnt happen. But t really is the worst thing ever. It was very hard to to find somthing i could eat today. My brain straight away was like “no” to everything i ate but i diddnt want to ruin my sleeping pattern so made myself eat the lesser of the two evils. Also went out and bought a slight craving but slightly changed the product on the spot and so glad i did because i was craving something that i diddnt even know but had had ages ago. It made my headache completely dissapear and i cant sleep because i keep needing to eat ridiculous amounts of it that im confused how i can fit all that in me, unlike before when i was repulsed by one bit of pasta cause every bit was making me feel worse. Only thing is i had a latte because myenergy levels and motivation were so low that i thought it was caffeine craving.(forgotton what the word is where you lack something because you regularly have it). So now i cant sleep anyway. I think im the most inactive person on the planet, apart from the prople who are physically inable but i think mentally you can get trapped in exactly the same incapabillities as bed bound people. I also get bed bound. Im house bound anyway and its like my brain would rather stare at a wall than do something useful that i need and want to do. It makes me competetive and angry that everyone else is just gettig stuff done and moving forwars while ive been trapped from moving forward all my life and im so embarrassingly far behind. Then again, thats not what its about.


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