Tonight i bought a new computer. Not cause my old computer was old and useless. Not cause i have all this money laying around that i can afford to buy such things whenever i want. I bought it..cause i felt i needed too.

The computer i use now is my late girlfiends computer. Its the only thing i really kept of hers. We were together for over 10 years this is the one object of hers that i kept. After she passed away i sold everything i could of mine to help pay for the medical cost and gave her parents all of her stuff except her computer.

She was a computer geek. I loved that about her. I can still remember the day she bought this computer. She wanted to put it together all by herself. This would be the first time she ever attempted this alone. I remember calling her at work telling her it arrived. I didnt even open the box of parts. I left everything to her. She was so excited. I can remember her laying all the parts on the floor, she put it together so quick and i recall just smiling and finally when it was ready i remember her pressing the power button. I could tell she was nervous but i knew she did everything right. It worked prefectly and she was so happy that day that it worked and that she did it all by herself.

She kept everything from one computer to the next, all her old emails, pictures, everything. Every day no matter how hard i try i cant help but to open a old email, look at a old picture. Just looking at this computer i still see her there. I feel guilty for typing this.. its just hurting to much to think of her.

I’m starting to think im just going crazy.. Who looks at a computer and sees there late gf?

I do..

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