My friend left her abusive boyfriend for the last time I hope. Myself and another guy helped move her during the weekend. The workout was good and the feeling of helping out a friend was good. But the anxiety of being between two very angry people was not so good, but I handled it pretty well.

My friend has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Over the last few months, I've seen her little, but because of her financial situation I've been paying for her meds and therapy sessions (not all that expensive, thank the good Lord). After the move she ended up back at her parent's place even though it's not where she wants to be (her family and her have been on the outs for years). Her mother told her she has to find somewhere else to go soon. The shelter for abused women is full and the women's homeless shelter is the last place she wants to end up. I've offered her a room at my place or some cash to help find her a room or small apartment. 

Tonight she called and she was tired, angry and sniping for a fight. I almost played into it, but managed to remain supportive and remind myself that the anger she had over something innocuous I said was not my fault. I hadn't heard her like this for quite a while and it was pretty uncomfortable. 

She's going through a lot of stress right now. She has a lot to do and little time to do it, so I think I'll have to drop by tomorrow and lend a hand if I can. 

This is also the time I've got to go and re-establish a friendship and find another one or two. I will not be able to help her if I don't have outside support for myself. (What does it say if I feel a greater urgency to straighten out my life for my friend, than for myself? It's not about a 'love' interest with my gal friend: I love her as a friend, period. I think it's more about a non-love interest with myself. Even though I like helping people out, I never feel I'm worth my own effort… although you wouldn't think so with all the pity parties I throw myself… I know, I know,  stop being so critical of myself… this stream of consciousness crap sucks)

Anyhow, I made a promise to her that I'd help her get thru her Dialectical Behavioral Therapy scheduled to begin this autumn. Basically, as long as she's trying to better her situation,  I will support her.  

Any comments or opinions on this blog is humbly accepted (cause, maybe I'm being a total douche and don't even know it). 

Peace 

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